I Smell Bacon....

I'm going to open up this entry with a confession: I'm really just complaining on this one, and to be honest I'm not going to do research or behave myself. I whole heartedly admit that I'm just ticked that I got a ticket for a seemingly stupid reason at a very suspect time.

Now that that part is done, go ask a cop about a ticket quota. I remember when I was in High School they had a couple of cops come in here and again to do "educational" presentations. They would field a lot of general questions, and then there would always be that one kid who finally got the idea to ask "Hey, officer, what's your ticket quota?". The officer would always do the same thing, rock back on his heals, get a little grin, shake his head ever so slightly and say "That doesn't exist". Every one would nod, smile and get together after class to discuss how he was lying about the whole thing.

Now what brings this up, you ask? Friday I was out and about running some errands and more or less goofing off before I got to lunch with my wife. I was leaving a parking lot, and waiting to turn when I spotted one of "Olathe's finest", rolling along in his spiffy modified Dodge Charger. The look on his face while he drove was one of near complete slack jawed, numb boredom. This wasn't a surprise to see a cop roaming around bored, considering that on the way to the store they had sprouted up everywhere. I had seen at least 4 cops in the span of 2 hours. Some may say that that's not a lot, but here that's odd, after all, it's Kansas, there's not a lot that happens. As he drives past me, I see his eyes flick over and scan my car. I assume he's just looking, until his face lights up like a Christmas tree and he suddenly doesn't look so bored. At that moment, I knew I was going to get pulled over, the only thing I couldn't figure out was what for. My car is legal, plates are up to date, I have insurance, I haven't even been pulled over in several years despite the rumors that I'm a psychotic driver (I've been told I drive like a grandma, just without the good qualities like going super slow, just the bad ones like forgetting where I'm at and which lane I'm in). So I pull out of the parking lot after the officer has passed by, and the dance begins as he tries his hardest to get in behind my car.

I pull in behind the police car, after all, I know I'm getting pulled over already, so I may as well just play dumb until he turns his lights on (this is my jackass reflex). Meanwhile the officer, who had stopped a good 20 feet before the stoplight we were now at, moves to the left and I pull next to him. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him, almost giddy with excitement, glancing over and checking out my car more. Once again, I wonder what on earth he could be looking at, but shrug it off because ultimately, as far as I know, I've done nothing wrong. The light changes, I go, he delays and pulls in directly behind me, even feeling the need to turn his lights and sirens on for me for the 10 feet it takes me to stop. However, I'm so ready to be pulled over at this point that I just pull over next to the curb. I look in the rear view mirror and see him scowling (my jackass sense is tingling) and motioning to pull off the main road. I pull off and go into the next parking lot, stop at the curb again, park and turn off the car. Now the first time I stopped I may have been slightly leaning towards some jackassery, but this time I was trying to be serious and not dig a hole for myself. I look back and see a bigger scowl as he turns on his PA system and instructs me to move to a parking spot in said parking lot.

After finally getting to a spot the officer was happy about, I roll down the window and wait. He approaches and tells me the reason for him pulling me over is that my windows "appear to be too dark". This is a surprise to me due to the fact that we've had these windows for 3 years now and never once had any issues. The officer produces a small electronic meter from his belt and slides it on the window, then informs me that the tint is indeed to dark. He takes my information and returns after a short wait with a ticket for $96.00, gives me the instructions on how to take care of it, and advises me that if I get the windows either stripped or re-tinted the court may overturn the ticket.

He leaves, I call my wife and tell her what happened, and on the way home pass another 3 cops parked off the side of the road and 2 more with some one already pulled over.

This all brings me to my point: If there is a ticket quota, they could really do more to hide it rather than showing up in force at the end of the month. If there isn't, then why is it the only time I see that many cops out on the road is at the end of the month?

Like I said at the beginning of this, I'm complaining. There is absolutely no rational thought to this whole thing, and I could be a million miles off, and I'm totally willing to admit that. You have to admit though, next time it gets to the end of the month and you start noticing more cops out than usual, it'll make you wonder.

Kevin Smith is Too Fat!

It's official, Kevin Smith is too fat. This is evident because of the fact that Southwest Airlines decided that he was a safety risk and removed him from a flight. Now this happened a few days ago, so Southwest has had time to post the following response to the situation:

Mr. Smith originally purchased two Southwest seats on a flight from Oakland to Burbank - as he’s been known to do when traveling on Southwest. He decided to change his plans and board an earlier flight to Burbank, which technically means flying standby. As you may know, airlines are not able to clear standby passengers until all Customers are boarded. When the time came to board Mr. Smith, we had only a single seat available for him to occupy. Our pilots are responsible for the Safety and comfort of all Customers on the aircraft and therefore, made the determination that Mr. Smith needed more than one seat to complete his flight. Our Employees explained why the decision was made, accommodated Mr. Smith on a later flight, and issued him a $100 Southwest travel voucher for his inconvenience.

A whole $100.00, well gosh, that's enough to cover any insult! Now personal feelings about Smith aside, He handled this like only Kevin Smith could. He hopped on Twitter and became a not so Silent Bob:

Fuck making it right for me just 'cause I have a platform. I sat next to a big girl who was chastised for not buying an extra ticket because "all passengers deserve their space." Fucking flight wasn't even full! Fuck your size-ist policy. Rude...

Smith's point that he has a platform is not only valid, but it makes such good sense it's sad. The fact of the matter that the same airline has a policy of going back to already boarded passengers and suddenly deciding that they're too fat to fly unless they fork out more cash. The difference between those passengers and Smith is his 1,668,861 (yes, that's the REAL number) Twitter followers. The truth is, that SW couldn't care less about the rest of the people out there that don't have a soap box to jump up on. What are you going to do? Write a letter you say? O.K., we'll be contacting you with an automated response and an empty gesture within the next 9 months!

On a personal note, I'm going to go do some sit-up's so I can fly out and visit the family back in California, just in case.

Thanks to:

The Consumerist.com for the info, and Kevin Smith for starting a Twitter. If you want to read his official statements and full thoughts on the matter, check it out here.

McWendy's King Challenge!

After seeing Burger Kings ad's bragging about how they have the superior burger, I decided to challenge the idea. Not to say I don't love my BK, just that hey, I'm bored and hungry. So I packed up, ran out to my friend's house and started the planning process.

First, the rules:

1 - All the burgers have to be bought within 5 minutes of each other.

2 - All that can be ordered is a "double cheese burger", as that's what's advertised in the commercial. Also the burger must be ordered from the dollar menu.

3 - There has to be at least one drink. Fries are suggested but not required. This is the one "cheat" that's allowed, but it has to be ordered separate, no value meals.

4 - Just to keep it consistent, try to order from either all franchise or all corporate stores.

5 - Eat in chronological order. The first order is eaten first, the last order is eaten last. In between burgers, take a break, take a drink, eat some fries and then start the next burger.

The rules being down, we then set into our mission. We came up with a grading system of zero to three based on three things: Taste, texture and consistency, cost, and size. Zero is the worst, three is the best, and anything in between, well, I'm pretty sure every one is smart enough to figure out the rest. So, with no further ado, I present to you, The McWendy's King Challenge!

McDonalds -

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

Taste Texture and Consistency: Jax: 1.4 Me: 1.5

Good, not great, but good. The cheese tended to get lost every so often and the dehydrated onions really didn't add or subtract from the burger. Still a little bit of an "off" taste to the burger. We both agreed that the pickles and other condiments were all put in one spot, and in one bite you could pretty much take out all the pickles.

Size: Jax - 2 Me - 2

For $1.19, not too shabby. Good meat to bun ratio.

Price - Well, here's the silly part, they charge you an extra $0.19 for a slice of cheese. McDonald's is the priciest of the three.

Over all: 1.75

Burger King -

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

Taste Texture and Consistency: Jax: 1.9 Me: 2

"It tastes like a burger" was the phrase we both uttered after a few bites. The burger is juicy, and has a nice smoky grill flavor to it. Sesame seed bun, well, it's a bun and it doesn't add or subtract anything aside from looks. No onions, which Jax was fairly upset about, but remembering McDonald's I didn't think it was a major issue. Whatever the burger was missing onion wise it made up for in cheese, and cheese was GOOD. Condiments were spread a bit better, but the pickles were still located in about one bite.

Size: Jax: 2.3 Me: 2.5

Great for a dollar, nearly perfect bun to meat ratio. Heavier than McDonald's and the burger patties were definitely bigger than McDonald's as well.

Price - Two pieces of cheese and still only $0.99

Over all: 2.2

Wendy's -

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

Taste Texture and Consistency: Jax: 0.5 Me: 0.5

The burger was, well, disgusting. The onion that Jax wanted was there, but it was slimy and completely distracted from the burger because it threw off the taste so badly. Cheese was there, but not very outstanding as far as taste is concerned. Finally, the "Fresh, never frozen" patty, well, it tasted like something, but it wasn't fresh. To drive home how bad this burger tasted, we didn't finish it, we gave up after a couple of bites.

Size: Jax: 1.0 Me: 1.0

When you first get the burger, it feels heavy. Then you unwrap the burger. The patties couldn't be the heavy part, they're thinner than McDonald's, and that only leaves the bun, which is way too big for the burger. To put it shortly, the burger is all bread, no meat and a slimy onion.

Cost: $0.99, still less than McDonald's but I'd pay not to eat at Wendy's again.

Over all: I think Jax put it better than any score can: "Just put 'Fail' next to Wendy's"

And thus ends the McWendy's King Challenge! Burger King did come in first, and it was actually bigger and, well at least in our opinion, did taste a little better. So bravo Burger King, you didn't fail your ad!

On a separate note:

Dear Wendy's, please follow Domino's example and start over, you fail.

Over Medicated Pray for Headache

Before I get too far, I would like to make clear that this is not, I repeat, NOT a pro or anti drug discussion.

Now to continue, it is my thought that the reason for taking drugs, whether they are for a headache or for cancer, is to treat, lessen, or dull pain, illness or discomfort of some sort. All reasons for taking drugs, any kind, legal or not, would loosely fall into one or more of the categories listed above. Now I am absolutely for taking drugs to help lessen pain, treat disease, or to improve life in general. My problem, thus the reason for this blog entry, is that these medications are not being used for this anymore.

As a society, it has become not only socially acceptable, but popularized to take your medicine. Medicine commercials are almost impossible to escape on the television. Online they are plastered on the pages of websites near and far, from herbal remedies to complex names that take up half the ad. These ads show sunny days, happy people, true relief from what ails you. The flowery images keep rolling while the side effects are read in monotones under the light happy music. If you pay attention, you may notice that the first side effect is something easy, gradually building to that wonderful crescendo: diarrhea, nausea, profuse sweating, kidney failure, asthma, death, shaking, sleepiness, fatigue, and increased thoughts of suicide.

Now I'm not saying that there's a huge conspiracy by the "They that is Them", what I am saying is that as a society we have defined a way that is acceptable to get high. Prime time commercials and references in most pop culture outlets have made an easy and acceptable way to escape reality. Unlike illegal substances, while controlled, they are still legal. Unlike alcohol they are technically "good" for you. Unfortunately, for every one person who needs these medications, that is in pain, that has that condition, that is in true desperation, there are five that know how to fake their way through a doctor’s appointment to get a drug for an illness they don't have. These other five people are still within social acceptance though, because they were seen by and given the permission from a doctor, with a prescription.

It's this social acceptance that I'm calling out as the issue. The people who will self medicate because life is hard and unpleasant to deal with, but call it panic attacks or social anxiety, who will pop pills three times a day and then look down upon those who drink too much, or do elicit drugs. This passive idea that a piece of paper from a doctor validates compulsive addictive behavior and intoxication is the issue, not the drugs them selves. While I wouldn't vindicate the pharmaceutical companies completely, after all, with digging in and advertising nationwide in such a manner as is currently done, one couldn't help but see a correlation between these ads and the popularity of prescription medications, I see more responsibility lying with the people. Common sense dictates that companies don't go where there's no demand for the product.

Ultimately the people ask for and buy the product. Ultimately the people seek a socially acceptable way to become intoxicated, and thus numb to whatever annoyances or problems may be plaguing them. The problem then becomes this: How do you stop an addict who knows the system? Is there a way to decipher who is and who isn't just trying to get a fix? More importantly is there a way to do that without discriminating or harming those who legitimately need these medications? Is it even possible to sort out those who would seek the drugs as an intoxicant, whether knowingly or not, from those who just simply need the medications?

To complicate the matter further, depending on the drug type, it could be argued that the drug could start causing the very thing it's trying to suppress by throwing off an otherwise healthy balance in the body. Even removing that theory, a person with an addictive personality, or who has convinced themselves they need the drug may show symptoms not because they truly are affected, but rather because the power of thought convinced the individual that they really do have the issue.

After trying for a long while to find a way, an opinion, an option, a loop hole of some sort to sift through those who need versus those who want, in the end there was no good option. The people who use substances for the wrong reasons have existed long before pharmaceutical companies, long before what could be called "modern" medication, and will continue to exist. In the end it is a personal decision, and try as we might, there's no way of dissuading a person once their mind has been made up. One could say that pulling adds, stopping commercials could help slow the abuse. However, one could also argue that pulling adds and commercials will put those in need in the dark, not only that, but no matter how much you hide it, there is one thing you can never hide, cover or change: Human nature, and our desire to have what makes us feel good, and have that feeling all the time. After all, a headache is a headache, and most would love the option to never have one again, even if it does mean being over medicated.